This is a post that I’ve had floating in my head for a long time. But this week I saw something that has changed the angle of this post, one that I wasn’t expecting…!

Since becoming an aunt when I was 10, I feel like there have always been kids in my life—even when I was still one myself. Both of my sisters (who are 10+yrs older than me) had kids (and are still having kids!) and as I started to get older, my friends starting having kids too.

Screaming And then I got involved in the Aussie blogosphere and have somehow found myself amongst the mummy bloggers, even though I’m not one myself. Mummy bloggers are a nice bunch, you know. Funny, intelligent and honest.

But I was wondering if being around all these mums in my real and internet life was putting me off having kids…

Cause I have a theory: back in the olden days (i.e. anything more than 10 years ago) it was common to have an “idea” of what parenting was like from family and older friends. The pain of labour, the sleepless nights, the vomiting, the nappies… but it wasn’t a REAL idea of what motherhood was like. The internet wasn’t around/sufficiently developed to feed   you with all the information you didn’t want to know about parenting. The cracked nipples, the tearing, the febrile convulsions.

Not that I haven’t seen the beauty of it. I was there when my nephew was born and it was one of the most beautiful and amazing things I’d ever seen. And I watch my friends and family with their kids (on the good days of course) and the hugs and playtime and bedtime stories and I confess to catching frequent cases of the warm’n’fuzzies.

Progressively, women are waiting longer to start having kids. We’re savvier and have more personal awareness of what impact parenthood will have on our lives.We’re watching family and friends have kids and really see the exhaustion and stress it causes.

Throw mummy bloggers into the mix with their brutal honesty of their daily struggles and woah. Some really don’t hold back. And not that I think they shouldn’t—in fact, I would defend their right to do so—but I feel that the largely-negative sentiments of many a blogger’s content has rubbed off on me.

So, since getting married last year and the “when are you going to start a family” asking rate has increased by about 5000%, it’s hard to explain why we’re not clucky as all hell.

I think we know too much. I think we waited too long. We’ve spent so many hours with people who have children of their own and we’ve heard too many stories. And I’ve read too many stories online.

But earlier this week, something changed. I read Mrs Woog’s post about about the ridiculous trend of women getting dolled up for the labour ward and then on her Facebook page, all these women shared photos of themselves in their post-labour beauty. I was surprisingly mesmerised by the whole thing. It was like an extension of the experience I had when my nephew was born. You can’t get more real than the look on a mother’s face just after she’s met her baby. And while some of the photos were beautiful, natural, confronting (for a non-mother like me, anyway), there were some funny ones too. It was as real as it gets, but it didn’t frighten me at all.

But the bit that really won me over was the fact that all these women took the time to comment on each other’s photos. The outpouring of pride and  camaraderie  was something that I haven’t seen anywhere else. That was the piece that I didn’t know I had been missing with mummy blogs. A celebration of the miracle of life and the empowerment of women who do this every day.

So thank you, mummy bloggers, I’m no longer afraid of having kids…. but I’m still not quite ready to have my own… yet :)

And if you haven’t yet, I highly recommend Mrs Woog’s post that rounds up the photos that were shared on Facebook, and you have to scroll down to the last photo because it is pure gold. Trust me!

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18 thoughts on “Have mummy bloggers been putting me off having kids of my own?

  1. Rah – what a lovely post! I loved watching Woogs’ facebook page unfold as well. There was something so organic about it, the beautiful sharing and cameraderie.

    -eden

    PS When I say your name in my head I have Lady Gaga’s riff from Bad Romance – “Rah rah – oh la la!”

    Posted on 16 July 2011 at 11:35 pm
    1. naw, thanks eden – and now I have gaga stuck in my head, but I will only sing the RAH version now :) x

      Posted on 16 July 2011 at 11:41 pm
  2. You should read what I wrote with newly pregnant Emily Jade O’Keefe in mind (‘Motherhood Unearthed’ on KleenexMums or Emily Everywhere blog) – she asked me to only share the good stuff which I thought was really wise despite me being a chronic oversharer and initially planning to write everything down for her especially the bad stuff. The thing though about motherhood and Mrs Woog’s photo collection really does capture it, is the unexplainable love you have for the little person. They truly are the love of your life – sorry hubbies everywhere…so really glad you’ve changed your mind, you’d be a great Mum!

    Nicole x

    Posted on 16 July 2011 at 11:39 pm
    1. thanks Nicole! there’s no denying how amazing it is, huh?

      Posted on 17 July 2011 at 11:24 am
  3. For some reason, now totally unknown to me, I never wanted kids.never.

    I decided that one would be ok, then went back for another.

    I had no idea what I would be missing out on.

    None.

    So, I am glad we haven’t scared you away!

    Posted on 16 July 2011 at 11:41 pm
    1. That’s a bit like me too, Clairey. Grew up not wanting to have kids of my own. As I get further into my 30s I’m slowly changing my spots :)

      Posted on 17 July 2011 at 11:25 am
  4. What an impact that post has had on you :-)
    Such an amazing chain of events that even Mrs Woog was touched by emotionally.
    So true about the “looks of all kinds” on mums faces….. But as I reluctantly had to admit to, 40 and 32 years ago for a camera to be brought into the labour and delivery ward was
    unheard of.
    Funny too, babies sometimes “pick” times to be “made” …. Just saying’
    Great post …. And how interesting are the connections via blogs. In fact Mrs Woog told me she was born in same country hospital I had my daughter two years before.
    Small world. Best wishes to you & hub… As your journey continued.. Denyse x

    Posted on 16 July 2011 at 11:48 pm
    1. Oops delete “even” before Mrs Woog… Meant how incredibly moved she was.. :-)

      Posted on 16 July 2011 at 11:49 pm
  5. I’m glad our tales of woe aren’t scaring you! Really though, parenting is two sides of the coin. The very best and the very worst, all wrapped up and mostly I share the worst, because I don’t need support to get through the good bits.

    I loved Mrs Woogs facebook page.

    Posted on 17 July 2011 at 9:32 am
    1. And that’s exactly why I will always support parents’ rights to blog about the bad days. We can help each other through it :) Thanks for commenting Veronica xx

      Posted on 17 July 2011 at 11:29 am
  6. If my photo (yes I was the one with the shiniest of vaginas) didn’t put you off, then NOTHING will!

    Great post. It’s not that scary. Promise. I mean I went and did it again.

    Posted on 17 July 2011 at 11:07 am
    1. Beth, your shiny vagina was MAGICAL! I could almost hear the choir of angels when I looked at the photo ;)

      Posted on 17 July 2011 at 11:32 am
  7. Beautiful post Rah.

    You are so loving and giving. Perfect mother material.
    Sorry if we scared you.

    For what it’s worth, Ivy still talkes about you and Liz and Leigh at Westmead kids.
    Seems you make quite an impression too xx

    Posted on 17 July 2011 at 11:10 am
    1. Ivy made an impression on me, too – she’s an amazing kid :) xxx

      Posted on 17 July 2011 at 11:33 am
  8. Maybe I’m less ready than you. The roundup post of the post birth pics didn’t really do much for me, and I didn’t make it to the end :\

    I’m going to stick with the auntying thing for now. I like kids, just like to hand them back, I love working with them too.

    The longer I go on the more I’m not sure about the kids thing.

    We’ll see.

    Posted on 17 July 2011 at 1:55 pm
  9. What a great read, love hearing the Non-Mummy response to Mrs Woog’s amazing post.

    I was present for my nephew’s birth and it was amazing, nothing like the God awful scary birth video I was forced to watch when I attended her birthing class (now THAT was good contraception!). Mine however was far from amazing (hence the reason I only have the one!).

    There’s never any rush; tell people to mind their damn business :)

    Posted on 17 July 2011 at 2:44 pm
  10. When your ready it will be magical :)

    Posted on 17 July 2011 at 9:18 pm
  11. Just catching up on a bunch of your posts now Spunky. I KNOW my boys scare you witless from having your own… you don’t have to say it ;o)
    You know how I feel about this my love. All in your own time. Seriously. xoxo

    Posted on 20 July 2011 at 12:23 am