This is it, people! #reverb10 is done!

Some of it wasn’t quite what I was expecting (and some were just plain HARD to answer), but I’ve enjoyed it. There were quite a few of us who started it, but not many of us who finished it (and I can understand why!).

I hope that in some way, you’ve taken the time to think about the last year and think about 2011.

Here’s to a new year that will be even moar awesome!

December 28 – Achieve.  What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful?

I want to achieve more personal freedom in 2011. Gain a bit of selfishness. Lose some of my guilt. Be more attentive. Stop second-guessing what others will think, and letting that guide my decision-making. Accept the things that I cannot change (thanks, Al-Anon).

I don’t know how I’ll feel if I manage to achieve it. I suspect that I’ll feel less satisfied and complete that I hope to. But if I manage to achieve even some of it, it will make me a better person than I am today, and infinitely better than I have been in the last 12 months.

December 29 – Defining Moment.  Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

Sitting beside/behind mum in her GP’s surgery, knowing that she needed to be hospitalised. Being shitscared of having to tell her GP my opinion of how sick mum had been, and to have to say it in front of mum. And the look of absolute hate that mum gave me when I started speaking honestly. The way the hospital nurses and doctors were speaking honestly and gravely to mum, and how scared mum looked.

That entire day took it all out of me. It defined the rest of mum’s life – and our lives, too.

To be selfish and emo for a second, it was yet another realisation on how mum impacted on my personal life. She has always had a way of having a negative impact on (some would describe it as ruining) “events” in my life. My birthday, Dan’s birthday, other family members’ birthdays, Christmas and weddings (mine and other people’s). And another reason why I need to focus on my planned achievements for 2011.

December 30 – Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?

The support of my friends. Whether they were on the phone, on google chat, at work, in the coffee shop, on twitter, on emgee, in person, delivering presents, planning my hen’s party… they made my year. It’s as simple as that :)

Friends are the family you choose for yourself!

December 31 – Core Story.  What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world?

I’m the result of the life that’s been handed to me. Dad dying when I was 8. Living alone with an alcoholic parent. Growing up without much money. Watching my family as they dealt with their own abusive relationships, their losses. Hating it. Hating playing the victim.

I used to hide behind my story, but I’m learning to share it, especially this year. By being honest about my story, I’ve discovered HOW MANY PEOPLE have similar stories. That I’m not alone. That it’s okay that my life hasn’t been perfect. That success is just a case of getting up once more than you fall down. That my past has made me who I am. I’m a bit of a black sheep. I’m a “late bloomer” of sorts. I’m very different to the person I thought I’d be when I was 15.

And that’s okay!

I am Rah. Hear me roar :)

My story is the reason why I love The Luckiest by Ben Folds so much. And why I wear some of the lyrics on a bangle:

“Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls brought me here. And I am The Luckiest”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

3 thoughts on “Achieve/Defining moment/Gift/Core story

  1. Love you Rah X

    Posted on 31 December 2010 at 6:27 pm
    1. love you more xxxxxxxxxxxxx

      Posted on 1 January 2011 at 3:41 pm
  2. “I used to hide behind my story, but I\’m learning to share it”

    Without a doubt, the best thing I’ve ever heard (well, read) you say.

    Love you xxxxxxxx

    Posted on 4 January 2011 at 9:56 pm