How I Met Your Mother: Last Forever

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I just watched the finale of the show that I have loved above all shows.

And I have no words. Not from the content of the episode, but from that being IT.

Last Forever.

I’m consoling myself with this playlist of every song ever played throughout all 9 seasons:

<3 HIMYM

The victim

I have very little self-tolerance for victim-playing as an excuse for not coping with my life.

Like anyone, I’m really really freaking hard on myself. Why aren’t I doing more? Why am I complaining? Why am I letting {this} get the better of me? Why why whyyyyyyyy?

And, like everyone, I have lots of reasons to blame life for why I am the way I am.

{insert long-winded, whiney, annoying list here}

I used to pride myself in not playing the victim to the life that was handed to me. I saw it as a sign of weakness, a sign of letting THAT determine my happiness. And I wouldn’t have a bar of it.

What’s happened to me has shaped me into ME. And I’m rah! I am a tough cookie, I’m stubborn, I’m a fighter and an independent PITA. If all the life that’s been handed to me in my 35 years didn’t happen to me? I wouldn’t be who and where I am right now. And I love who and where I am right now. Most days anyway ;)

Whenever I am in a really really dark place, I give in and become the victim. I hate it, but there are times when I’m just too emotionally exhausted to fight it. When I was younger, it was really easy to snap myself out of it, though.

I distinctly remember a rough phase I was going through in my early 20s. I was all doom and gloom and exhausted from carrying the weight of my world on my shoulders. I was working in Packer Towers and was ambling up from Dolly Magazine editorial on level 6 to our department on level 8 (a trek I would make a gazillion times a day) and I still remember on one ordinary day when I put my right foot on that first step in the fire stairs and told myself “stop playing the victim, rah” and I immediately felt better, got over myself and moved on.

That was almost 15 years ago and my ability to just snap out of it has waned. In so many ways I am so much stronger now than I ever have been, but my mental elasticity to just stop being a sook hasn’t stuck around.

Tonight I found this pic over on the Coping with Jane FB page:

rahest-play-the-heroine-not-the-victim

and it made me realise that in recent years I’ve let myself be the victim again, for longer than I realised. And for someone like me who has been so anti-victim? That’s one hell of a realisation.

So I’m taking myself back. It’s time for me to put one foot in front of the other again and leave the victim behind. I don’t know if I feel like I can be the heroine, but you know what? I’m gonna give it a go.

Proud Aunty Rah

This rah is a super proud aunty this weekend.

Yesterday my eldest nephew (aka The 7ft Nephew) married the love of his life and it was beautiful.

I’m sofa king proud of this kid for a multitude of reasons and in the flurry of pre-ceremony prep I somehow ended up being charged with trying to not stab him while attaching his boutonniere.

For all the love, laughs, drinking, hugging and amazingness of yesterday, this… THIS is what I’ll never forget. So glad Dan grabbed this pic:

boutonniere

:happytears:

Thirty five

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Given it took me a year to remember to post about turning 34, I’m doing incredibly well to be posting about turning 35 before the end of my birthday month.

Which reminds me: I still haven’t written the epic post promised about our trip to Hobart last year. Whoops.

BUT! Thirty five celebrations (forever known as #rah35) were an absolute cracker. Good weather, beautiful town, brilliant excursions and my three favouritest human beings on the planet.

A fraction of the awesomeness of the weekend has been compiled into a itty bitty movie (my first foray into iMovie*), though it doesn’t include:

  • My A380 cake
  • Me hand feeding a lion
  • Me impersonating turkeys and beavers
  • An aurora!

Grab some popcorn and enjoy:

* yes I did say iMovie, yes that means I not only have touched a Mac, but I kinda have one now. OH MY GOD WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME

Youtube therapy: mega lolz

Back when I worked in publishing, we used to spend HOURS playing videos we’d downloaded from the web. Back in the days before YouTube, we had to download the videos onto a computer, call everyone together and huddle around a CRT while we cacked ourselves, mostly at funny ads shown during the SuperBowl and Celebrity Jeopardy on SNL

Now? We can watch ALL THE THINGS.

I’m shamelessly pinching this idea from Leigh, who is my #1 source for funny videos.

Protip: don’t drink any liquids while watching any of these.

ONE: Hoof hearted

TWO: lololololololol!

THREE: goats screaming like humans

FOUR: troloolol cat

FIVE: best use of a roomba

SIX: How I sing We Didn’t Start the Fire