Head and Heart – May 2014

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Hey you guys! There’s a new linky uppy thingy that Helen’s doing called Head and Heart. This is the first h’official month of it and because I’m in need of a bit of direction when it comes to blogging here… I’m jumping right on in. Helen wants us to focus on the positives, but, um, you’ll see where I’ve struggled on that point and got my ranty pants on a bit. Whoops.

You should join in, too! C’mon, you know you want to. All the cool kids are doing it…;) All you have to do is blog (!) and hook your post into the linky at the bottom of this post. Easy peasy, bum squeezy!

What I’ve been grateful for

  • The universe giving me a giant kick in the pants. I needed it. Keep reading, you’ll start to see what I mean, though it’ll get its own post when I sit still long enough to process it all
  • Long lunches and long coffee shop runs with friends. Very overdue and very good for the soul
  • Free stock image sites like Pic Jumbo and Jay Mantri. Saving the pennies of tight arse self-publishers around the world :)
  • Warm autumns in Sydney and ALL THE SUNSHINE! It’s been so nice getting about in jeans and thongs

What I’ve been thinking about

  • I’ve been thinking about the latest speech by my ladycrush, Sheryl Sandberg. She’s given a commencement speech at Harvard and has focused on honesty and feminism. It’s got me thinking about my level of honesty to others and to myself. I’m a pretty realistic person, but dunno how honest I actually am. Hashtag food for thought

  • I’ve also been spending a lot of time thinking about blogging and the current place it’s at in Australia. Monetisation, promotion, content creation… the whole lot. Whether there’s a need for more robust ethics discussions within the community. Whether we blog too much in this day and age. How sustainable is it as a business model? I love talking about this stuff
  • And I’ve been spending FAR too much time thinking about Tony Abbot and getting stabby. It’s… just…ugh. It’s truly awful. And then there’s the international coverage. You know it’s bad when America is giving us shit:

What I’m excited for

  • Fijiiiii! We fly out on Saturday with Jarod and Liz for a week of sunshine, cocktails and naps. And I cannot frigging wait. At this point my plan is to stay completely offline the whole time we’re away (yeah, I know. I don’t think I can do it, either, heh). I’m hoping that it’s as relaxing as our honeymoon cruise, sans seasickness. But let’s be realistic, there’s every chance the hangovers will rival any seasickness.
  • A NEW BLOODY JOB! I can’t even begin to tell you the most bizarre three weeks I’ve had, you guys. I went from not job hunting, to being interviewed by the side of an indoor pool, to signing a contract for an amazing job that I can’t wait to start getting my teeth into. I also can’t wait to go on the roller coaster at Luna Park in my lunch break. Yup
  • I’m also v excited about the block of Cadbury Picnic chocolate that’s sitting in the pantry. Because this arvo I’m gonna eat the whole damn thing and I’m gonna love it!

What I’ve been doing

  • An apparent burger/retro eating research assignment. We’ve been to (former nudie joint) The Oxford Tavern in Petersham, Mary’s in Newtown, Daisy’s in Petersham, Skyline Drive In in Blacktown and the Hub House Diner in Dulwich Hill. The Tav and Daisy’s are my top picks
  • Turning 36! Which, while far more sedate than turning 35, was just what I needed after a frantic few weeks. I spent the weekend sleeping and eating amazing food with people I love :)
  • We re-arranged the furniture in the bedroom (this is something we NEVER do without moving house first) and it’s about the best thing we’ve done. We now face our big, east-facing window and get to sunbake while we’re hitting the snooze buttong on our alarm apps. Best of all, I can see the planes about to go into finals to land at the airport. I grin like an idiot every time

What I’ve been reading

  • All the books on my new Kindle! Okay, in reality I’ve got 3 books on the hop on my Kindle atm: How to Stop Being LazyHabit Stacking and Mortuary Confidential
  • Sub-category: what I should be reading – I have Mary Roach, Sheryl Sandberg, Audrey Nifferegger, MalalaYousafzai, Graeme Simsion and a tonne of others on my bedside table

What I’ve been spending money on

  • Well, I’ve been trying to buy things for Fiji, like reef shoes and new summer clothes cause mine don’t fit anymore. Do you know how hard it is to find summer clothes in autumn? Huzzah for internet shopping!
  • Twitter apps for Android. Because Plume just isn’t doing it for me anymore. I bought about 3 paid apps before settling on Tweedle, which is, um. Free. Good work, Rah!
  • 48 glass spice jars. Yup. To clean up the dog’s breakfast that is our pantry. Except we bought the wrong jars. Anyone need a box of mason jars?
  • Hands-down the best thing I’ve spent money on this month is professional oven cleaning. HOMIGOD IT WAS AMAZING. I dunno if I paid too much, but you know what? I don’t bloody well care! While I felt SO uncomfortable (read: white and privileged) to be sitting around like Lady Muck while a lovely couple worked wonders on our oven, it saved me hours of grief, swears and stinging eyes. Totally worth it, will do again

Are you gonna join in on Head and Heart? Helen wants to reconnect personally with bloggers and I reckon she’s hit the nail on the head with this idea. Yeah! Do it!

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How I Met Your Mother: Last Forever

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I just watched the finale of the show that I have loved above all shows.

And I have no words. Not from the content of the episode, but from that being IT.

Last Forever.

I’m consoling myself with this playlist of every song ever played throughout all 9 seasons:

<3 HIMYM

The victim

I have very little self-tolerance for victim-playing as an excuse for not coping with my life.

Like anyone, I’m really really freaking hard on myself. Why aren’t I doing more? Why am I complaining? Why am I letting {this} get the better of me? Why why whyyyyyyyy?

And, like everyone, I have lots of reasons to blame life for why I am the way I am.

{insert long-winded, whiney, annoying list here}

I used to pride myself in not playing the victim to the life that was handed to me. I saw it as a sign of weakness, a sign of letting THAT determine my happiness. And I wouldn’t have a bar of it.

What’s happened to me has shaped me into ME. And I’m rah! I am a tough cookie, I’m stubborn, I’m a fighter and an independent PITA. If all the life that’s been handed to me in my 35 years didn’t happen to me? I wouldn’t be who and where I am right now. And I love who and where I am right now. Most days anyway ;)

Whenever I am in a really really dark place, I give in and become the victim. I hate it, but there are times when I’m just too emotionally exhausted to fight it. When I was younger, it was really easy to snap myself out of it, though.

I distinctly remember a rough phase I was going through in my early 20s. I was all doom and gloom and exhausted from carrying the weight of my world on my shoulders. I was working in Packer Towers and was ambling up from Dolly Magazine editorial on level 6 to our department on level 8 (a trek I would make a gazillion times a day) and I still remember on one ordinary day when I put my right foot on that first step in the fire stairs and told myself “stop playing the victim, rah” and I immediately felt better, got over myself and moved on.

That was almost 15 years ago and my ability to just snap out of it has waned. In so many ways I am so much stronger now than I ever have been, but my mental elasticity to just stop being a sook hasn’t stuck around.

Tonight I found this pic over on the Coping with Jane FB page:

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and it made me realise that in recent years I’ve let myself be the victim again, for longer than I realised. And for someone like me who has been so anti-victim? That’s one hell of a realisation.

So I’m taking myself back. It’s time for me to put one foot in front of the other again and leave the victim behind. I don’t know if I feel like I can be the heroine, but you know what? I’m gonna give it a go.

Proud Aunty Rah

This rah is a super proud aunty this weekend.

Yesterday my eldest nephew (aka The 7ft Nephew) married the love of his life and it was beautiful.

I’m sofa king proud of this kid for a multitude of reasons and in the flurry of pre-ceremony prep I somehow ended up being charged with trying to not stab him while attaching his boutonniere.

For all the love, laughs, drinking, hugging and amazingness of yesterday, this… THIS is what I’ll never forget. So glad Dan grabbed this pic:

boutonniere

:happytears:

Thirty five

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Given it took me a year to remember to post about turning 34, I’m doing incredibly well to be posting about turning 35 before the end of my birthday month.

Which reminds me: I still haven’t written the epic post promised about our trip to Hobart last year. Whoops.

BUT! Thirty five celebrations (forever known as #rah35) were an absolute cracker. Good weather, beautiful town, brilliant excursions and my three favouritest human beings on the planet.

A fraction of the awesomeness of the weekend has been compiled into a itty bitty movie (my first foray into iMovie*), though it doesn’t include:

  • My A380 cake
  • Me hand feeding a lion
  • Me impersonating turkeys and beavers
  • An aurora!

Grab some popcorn and enjoy:

* yes I did say iMovie, yes that means I not only have touched a Mac, but I kinda have one now. OH MY GOD WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME