This post has been several days, drafts and revisions in the making. Let’s see how I go this time ’round…

(takes deep breath)

We’ve cancelled the wedding.

And we’re going to elope.

(exhales. slowly)

There are a multitude of reasons for our decision, some of which I’ve eluded to in my previous posts. The minor details are far too personal, and to be honest, it hurts my head to explain it. But those of you who have (tried to) arrange a wedding will have been there and understand all the complexities; we’ve just decided that we need to strip it back.

For our sakes.

It’s not been an easy decision. Last week we were in a daze, weighing up all the options, possibilities and potential fallout. I cried. Hard. But we ultimately know that our perfect day would just be a simple one that allows us to focus on each other, so we know we’ve made the right decision.

While elopment hasn’t happened much in my family, my in-laws prefer it and heaps of friends have eloped or had a small ceremony. And if I’m completely honest, I’ve had a massive crush on the idea of eloping after Jon and Heather eloped back in 2002. Yes, if the circumstances were different, I would happily continud to organise our pizza-and-cupcakes wedding. But it’s just not meant to be.

I’ve unsubscribed from all the wedding blogs and site alerts. I’m packing away my wedding books and hoping to find them a new home. I’d be lying if I said that I don’t still feel pangs of hurt when I remember what we’ve surrendered.  But as the days pass, the happier I am that we’ve made this decision.

A weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And I’ve always been lazy, right? ;)

Best of all? Dan and I are even stronger and closer than we were this time last week.

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9 thoughts on “So not going to the chapel

  1. Gorgeous one, you know you have to do what is right for you and Dan! And it sounds like you have made a great decision! A lavish wedding does not necessarily make a happy marriage, but talking through things with Dan now and working out what needs to be done is a great step!

    And if you elope anyway up here, let me know and I’ll whip up a batch of cupcakes and throw a batch of pizza dough on ;-)

    Posted on 12 July 2010 at 10:43 pm
  2. that last sentence is my favourite part

    think of it this way… you guys will share this, just between the two of you. you’ll tell people about it after and as you describe it, you’ll know you can catch dan’s eye (or vice versa) and know that he remembers it with you in even more detail than could ever be described with every adjective in the world. and that is the loveliest thing imaginable because that’s what it’s all about – you guys creating a lifetime of memories for the two of you

    xxx

    Posted on 12 July 2010 at 10:45 pm
  3. I have joked to my daughter every now and then that I’ll give her $10k to elope … it would be cheaper than paying for a wedding.

    Posted on 13 July 2010 at 12:03 am
  4. *hugs*

    Posted on 13 July 2010 at 7:59 am
  5. *hugs*

    :)

    We still get photos, right? :p

    Posted on 13 July 2010 at 8:12 am
  6. My parents eloped when they were just 19. They actually went all the way to England to do so. Hopefully you won’t feel the need to go so far.

    When things calm down you can always have a second wedding so don’t feel like you are giving that up – you are just postponing it.

    Posted on 13 July 2010 at 2:58 pm
  7. Awww….wish I could come and give you a hug. Can feel the sadness in your post. :(

    Maybe it’s not meant to be but you guys love each other. And when the crap hits the fan, that’s the most important thing of all. *big hugs*

    Posted on 13 July 2010 at 7:04 pm